apophenic dreams.

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in a casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

- C.S. Lewis

Permalink behindtintedglass:


I never wanted the throne. I only ever wanted to be your equal.
Loki - Thor.

Arthur staggers backward as his vision whites out and the sheer force of the images—prophecies, his mind whispers—renders him breathless.  His knees buckle and he leans against the stone wall of the cave as he wills his limbs to stop trembling.  It takes him a while to realize that he is still tightly clutching the crystal in his hand.  Merlin’s voice, quiet, resigned, and inexplicably sorrowful, is still echoing inside his head.
I only wanted to be your equal.
“What,” he gasps.  ”Is this supposed to tell me?”
Beside him, the old man—the sorcerer—watches him with eyes that seem to pierce through his armor, under his skin, inside the marrow of his bones. “The truth,” the sorcerer quietly answers.
“That can’t be the truth!” Arthur lashes out.  He throws the crystal onto the ground, where it shatters into a thousand shining pieces.
Merlin’s tears are glistening in each one of them.
Arthur curses as he rapidly shakes his head, trying and failing to rid himself of the images torturing him behind his eyes.
“And why not?” the sorcerer queries calmly.  ”Are you blind to the truth that is laid bare before you, Prince of Camelot?”
I never wanted the throne.  I only wanted…
“That can’t be the truth.”  Arthur finally looks up and meets the sorcerer’s fathomless gaze.  Oddly enough, it is the sight of those mysterious eyes that finally eases his erratically beating heart.  ”Because I already know that.”
The sorcerer cocks his head to one side, pondering.  ”Oh?  What do you know?”
Arthur thinks back to the visions revealed to him here: The Crystal Cave, the sorcerer had said, where he is to see everything that will be.  He remembers the heavy crown resting on his head, remembers rising from the throne that is now his… and remembers looking down at Merlin, who is still wearing his ragged servant’s clothes, bowing to him, pleading, shaking. 
He doesn’t understand the disappointment in Merlin’s eyes.  He can’t bear it.  He can’t accept it.
“I already know,” Arthur says quietly.  ”That he never sought the throne.  He… That’s…” He takes a deep breath.  ”That’s what he wanted for me.  But that’s not what he wanted for himself.”
The sorcerer narrows his eyes.  ”And what does this… Merlin want?”
“A place to belong.”  The sorcerer’s eyes widen at the certainty in Arthur’s voice.  ”Home.”
Something in the air changes.  They can feel it thrumming in the walls, sizzling against their skin.
“And you think…”  The sorcerer’s brows furrow curiously.  ”That this home he seeks… is by your side?”
Clutching the steady weight of Excalibur by his side, Arthur strides away from the sorcerer and towards the mouth of the cave.
“You are presumptuous, young prince.”  The old man’s raspy voice, amplified by the echoes within the cave, stops him in his tracks.  ”Why do you claim to know what this Merlin desires above everything?”
A smile tugs at Arthur’s lips.  ”Because he told me so.”
A heavy pause.  Then: “What did he tell you?”
Arthur raises his hand to gaze at the sword he holds, the sword that Merlin has kept safe for him. For years.
“He told me once, a long time ago, that the reason he left Ealdor was because he wanted to find a place where he could fit in.  I asked him if he already found it, and the idiot said he wasn’t sure.”
The light of the crystals bounce off Excalibur’s blade.  In it, he can see the reflection of sorcerer behind him as the old man’s eyes widen in surprise.
He drops his hand, looks over his shoulder, and grins at the old man.
“Seeing how incompetent he is, if he can’t find that place where he fits, I’ll just have to create that place for him.”
And with a final flourish of his sword, sliding it back in the scabbard, Arthur smiles at the sorcerer and steps outside the cave where the Knights are waiting.
At the Prince’s words, the crystals in the cave stop glowing for a moment.  Intrigued, the sorcerer crouches down and picks one up.  The crystal comes alive at his touch, but this time, the light is different.
“The Once and Future King finally seals the fate of Albion.”  The crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes crinkle into an amused smile. “The prat did a much better job at changing the future than I did.”
And with that, The Last Dragonlord disappears back to his own time. Back to his King.
And his place beside the throne.
Permalink
Permalink
Permalink
Permalink
Permalink
Permalink

madhdler:

“Arthur and Guinevere isn’t really a classic love story. It’s not Romeo and Juiliet. It’s destined to be an absolute mess of a relationship. So it would be wrong to define Arthur by that, I think. I don’t think as a character he does. As he says, his first commitment is to Camelot.”

- Bradley James

(via wholove)

And this is totally true. Arthur is all about Camelot above every other individual, including himself. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love Gwen but Camelot should always come first in the end.

(via doylefan22)

Hmm… Well, I’ll give Bradley the kudos on suggesting Arthur shouldn’t be defined by his romance with Guinevere.

However. Where is the equal-opposite quote about Guinevere? That perhaps Gwen loves Camelot just as much as Arthur; that her romance with him stems from her love of the kingdom first and foremost? That she is just as invested in Camelot’s success as he is - if not moreso, after all its failure serves to harm her peers more than Arthur and his.

I admit I haven’t really looked for one, but I’m assuming there isn’t one. Partly because Angel isn’t interviewed as much, and when she is, she isn’t given the space to comment in this way upon her romance with Arthur or Lancelot. The question, after all, is most often “Who is better for Gwen, Lancelot or Arthur?” “Who’s the better snog, Bradley or Santiago?” Both of which don’t particularly offer much space for a discussion about Gwen.

But also because the show has now decided this isn’t true. It disregards that Gwen’s character had always been about her peers above all else, and that her romance with Arthur was inspired by her faith that he could do amazing things for the kingdom - these things which she challenges him to do, in her capacity as trusted. Indeed, this was still happening at the beginning of this series, in her challenge to Agravaine about shutting the city gates. But these things don’t come into account in the telling of Gwen’s story: no, the narrative and her words are all about her need of Arthur. Because a strong, self-respecting lass will always ultimately fall mindlessly head over heels for a prince, right? That’s every girl’s dream, right?

There’s a part of me that wants to side-eye Bradley for not mentioning these things as well, but realistically it’s not his job to do so and maybe he hasn’t thought about it. It just seems to me that it’d be nice if someone else were to mention these things, since Angel isn’t getting the chance.

(via shallitellyouastory)

I can’t remember if we talked about the story where Gwen chooses Arthur (over Lancelot, I guess) because she feels he will be a better king with her as his queen, not because her love for him is this all-encompassing thing. In my head, she and Lancelot have this whole conversation about how they love each other, but they also love Camelot and realize that their duty is to the greater good.

Of course, people would read that story and criticize Gwen for *not* loving Arthur like she should, even though she’d be doing exactly what Bradley says Arthur’s doing here. But women are always so much more defined by who they’re sleeping with than men ever are.

(via theopensea)

ahaha the subtlety (except not, because dialogue.) of that story would be so far over lots of people’s heads that I would stand in awe if they could recognise dedication from betrayal.

Even so, I don’t know how much I care about those people, to be honest. Because that is a story which is novel and weighty and beautiful in its own way. And also, how great would it be to celebrate a woman who recognizes her own worth and influence and takes steps to act upon it - and not only she herself, but also the man (men) she loves recognizing it also. In a popular-culture narrative, that is.

Mostly though I’m reblogging this once again for commentary and specifically this line: “But women are always so much more defined by who they’re sleeping with than men ever are.”

Truer words, oldest trope, etc.

(via shallitellyouastory)

(via team-angel-coulby)

Permalink
Permalink
Permalink
Permalink lilybells:

I felt duty bound to try to make people feel better after this episode. Hope this works..
Permalink
Permalink
Permalink
Permalink